Good Vs. Bad Writing Samples

Bad Writing:

Eg. 1 - The author comes across as an egomaniac. Unfortunately for this reason his thesis slowly becomes lost in his excess of words. As a reader you have trouble decoding all the information that is thrown at you. Due to this you quickly lose interest and skip ahead to the next section or put down the article altogether.

Eg. 2 - The second example jumps right into its thesis and essentially sidesteps the reader. There is no connection established during the entirety of the paragraph. It feels as if you are merely reading a section of dialogue in a novel. Also again the author has not kept his argument concise enough for the average person, but has instead unleased an entire thesaurus at you in one sentence.

Eg. 3 - The third example certainly helped you to understand its thesis better although its filled with what almost come across as lies. It seems to be common knowledge that religion cannot be proven to do anything, not to say religion is bad but more that there is no direct evidence. It is merely something we use so that we can believe in something or to explain things that we dont understand. For this reason I feel the author cannot make the refrence that religion has proven to fufill the gap of a missing parent.

Good Writing:

Eg. 4 - The fourth example has an explicit direction and tone that are evident as the author explains the process of how the, "Capelin Spawn". However unlike the other paragraphs it uses language that the reader is capable of understanding. Although it is rather one dimensional that this is all that is required for the audience to understand the topic at hand.

Eg. 5 - This example provided a very clear thesis that is continually felt throughout the paragraph. Explaining how colour is seen by"three classes of cone-shaped, colour sensing cells in the retina" the author provides true facts to support their thesis. Although the author only said very little, much was learned after reading the paragraph.

Eg. 6 - The final paragraph is certainly much more effective then all of the others. The reason being is that the author connects with the reader by posing quesitons. Capturing the audiences attention is key to any succesful paragraph or essay. On top of thisthe author has a concrete thesis that he continues to focus on throughout the essay. These attributes truely make this an effective piece of writing.

The audience is hands down the most crucial piece of any form of literature. By keeping the reader intrigued you essentially ensure they do not put down what they are reading and move on to something else. Since your job with any medium of literature is to entertain you need to ensure you deliver the information while using effective language that the reader will understand. However overstating a particular area may cause you to lose track of your original thesis and end up following an entirely different direction. The "good" examples clearly explained everything you needed to know and delivered it very smoothly. However the "bad" examples was more like solving a puzzle. You had to try to gather all the information out of the paragraph and then attempt to put it back together again. Unfortunately for certain things there is no helping them.